This summer/fall, I encountered a stark reminder of life’s fragility through a health scare that hinted at a mere 25% chance of survival over the next five years. It was a jolt that shook my very foundation, a profound awakening to the delicate threads of existence.
As I navigated this uncertain period, the responses from those around me painted a vivid picture of human connection and its complexities. While my partner at the time struggled to provide the support I needed, my family, particularly my sister, stood firmly by my side. Their unwavering support contrasted sharply with his absence, highlighting the strength and resilience of familial bonds.
This experience led me to confront a deeper, underlying truth that I had perhaps always known but never fully acknowledged. Deep down, I was aware of who would truly be there for me – my dearest friends and family. They were the ones who I knew would show up without hesitation. Yet, with my partner, it was as if I had always known that he wouldn’t be able to meet this challenge, but I couldn’t admit it to myself. This health scare forced me to face this painful truth head-on, pushing me to recognize and accept the reality of our relationship.
This brush with mortality brought into focus the true value of the moments and people that bring joy to my life: the quiet times spent sitting in the company of my parents, he infectious laughter of playing with Olivia, the shared warmth of baking with Eloisa, and witnessing the growth and journeys of my siblings. These moments, always significant, now seemed to glow with an ethereal light, reaffirming their place at the core of my happiness.
Facing the possibility of life’s end, I discovered an unexpected sense of contentment and peace. It was as if life was realigning my path, guiding me back to the people and things that truly matter. This period taught me about resilience, the importance of genuine emotional connections, and the depth that empathy and understanding bring to our lives.
Reflecting on this journey, I’ve come to see life’s fragility not as a harbinger of doom, but as a poignant reminder of its beauty and richness.
It’s a paradoxical truth – our most vulnerable moments often provide the greatest clarity about the worth and purpose of our lives.
As I continue on this path, I carry the lessons from those challenging days. The realization that within life’s fragility lies its true weight reminds me that every day is a gift, an opportunity to live fully and to love deeply.
Fortunately, this scare turned out to be just that – a scare, and one that proved to be far less threatening than initially thought. Yet, the lessons it imparted about the people in my life and my relationships with them remain invaluable. I was lucky, and this experience has only deepened my appreciation for the love and support that truly makes life meaningful.
As I sit down to write this, a gentle wave of nostalgia washes over me, mingling with a profound sense of gratitude. In the fall, after yet another false start in my journey to find love, I found myself cocooned in the warmth and familiarity of my closest family and friends. It was during this period, a time of quiet reflection and healing, that I experienced something I’d liken to a personal reawakening.
It’s strange, isn’t it, how life’s missteps can inadvertently lead us back to our roots, to the very essence of our being? In those moments of vulnerability, surrounded by the people who know me best, I was gently reminded of the parts of me that they cherished the most. It felt like dusting off an old, beloved book and rediscovering the stories that once brought me joy.
Each person, in their unique way, held up a mirror to a part of my soul that I had perhaps neglected or forgotten.
My brother, with his easy laughter and our shared childhood memories, reminded me of my capacity for joy and resilience. Watching him in his new role as a father, tender and patient, I found an unexpected source of inspiration. He and my sister in law looked at me with a knowing smile and said, “You would be a great mom.” Their words weren’t just a passing compliment; they were an affirmation of qualities they saw in me – nurturing, caring, capable of boundless love. It was as though they saw a future version of myself that I hadn’t dared to envision.
My sister, a beacon of honesty and courage, played a different but equally vital role in this journey. She was the one who, in her candid manner, reminded me not to let others take advantage of my kindness.
“My biggest fear is you being made to believe you are not worthy” she would say.
Her words were a reminder of the value I offer, a call to stand firm against the tide of anyone who might mistake my compassion for weakness. She is always a pillar of strength, reflecting back my own inner fortitude, the part of me that never gives up, even when the odds seem insurmountable. My brother-in-law, usually a man of few words, opened up to me in a similar way, gently urging me to see the things I’ve been overlooking, his rare words carrying a weight that made me listen.
Then my best friends, who in their own way reflected the generosity and kindness they saw in me. “You’re always there for us,” they would say, “and you deserve the same in return.” In their eyes, I saw a reflection of the person they believed in – someone who gives freely but is also deserving of love and generosity back. They see me as a person of value, someone who enriches the lives of others simply by being myself.
In these interactions, it was as if they were piecing me back together, each holding a different fragment of my spirit. A joke here, a shared silence there, each moment was a thread weaving me back into a blanket of wholeness.
I began to see myself not just as I was in that moment of struggle, but as a composite of all the love, strength, and wisdom that my loved ones saw in me.
This journey of rediscovery wasn’t just about finding comfort in familiar faces; it was a profound reminder of the dynamic and multifaceted nature of our identities. We are never just one thing, one person, or one emotion. We are a beautiful, ever-evolving collection of traits, influenced and shaped by every person we encounter.
As you read this, I invite you to reflect on your own experiences. Think about the people in your life who have held up mirrors to the parts of you that you’ve lost touch with. Remember, in the eyes of our loved ones, we can often find the most truthful reflection of who we are.
In sharing this piece of my heart, I hope to remind you and myself that even in our lowest moments, we are never truly broken.
We are simply scattered, waiting for the gentle hands of those who care for us to help piece us back together, revealing the beautiful mosaic of our being.
Recently, a conversation kicked off a musing to a fundamental question: In the grand narrative of life, are we more defined by the circumstances of our birth or by the paths we carve out through our own choices? This question, seemingly simple, resonates profoundly with me, reflecting the journeys of many who have overcome the odds. During this conversation, I’d experienced a moment where my background seemed to overshadow my accomplishments, challenging my long-held belief that where we come from doesn’t determine our worth. But despite this, I continue to believe that our true value lies in our actions and choices, not our origins.
I was raised in a modest environment, where wealth was never about financial abundance but about the richness of character and spirit.
Our home lacked material luxuries, but we were wealthy in something far more valuable – a steadfast belief in the transformative power of education.
My parents, without the benefit of formal education themselves, were committed to setting us on a path of learning, one they had never had the opportunity to explore. They instilled in us ambition, drive, grit, a strong work ethic, and the belief that we could achieve anything we set our minds to.
As I navigated through different walks of life, I encountered a spectrum of perspectives. In the world of the ultra-wealthy, like Howard Schultz who grew up in a housing complex and later transformed Starbucks into a global name, I saw an understanding that one’s origins do not predestine their future. Success, as his story illustrates, is shaped by vision and determination, not predetermined by one’s starting point.
In contrast, among circles where wealth is in the throes of being built, perhaps there’s a heightened emphasis on lineage and status?
This is a realm relatively new to me, one where I’m still gaining exposure and understanding. Here, the pedigree, including the educational background of one’s parents, often takes an unexpectedly prominent role in how individuals are perceived and valued. It’s a curious emphasis that I’m still grappling to understand.
These recent interactions have led me to ponder deeply. Why does the level of education my parents attained hold such weight in these circles? My parents’ journey, their struggles and triumphs, form a significant part of my identity. Yet, I often find myself wishing that it was their character, their resilience, and the values they’ve instilled in me that defined this identity, rather than the circumstances of their birth or the formal education they couldn’t attain.
It’s a striking realization – that in some spheres, the accomplishments and qualities of an individual can sometimes be overshadowed by the perceived status of their family. This is a stark contrast to my belief that one’s background should be a secondary consideration to their character and achievements. It challenges me to navigate these new experiences with an open mind, while still holding firm to the conviction that the essence of a person, including myself, should be measured by the traits and values inherited from their upbringing, not merely the socioeconomic status they were born into.
In my relationships, especially in dating men from what you might consider ultra-wealthy backgrounds – including one whose past included a relationship with a Princess of a country, came from an extremely affluent family and who had launched a global e-commerce business – I never felt diminished by my modest background. It’s both a peculiar and intriguing observation that in the echelons of such high status, the importance of whether others possess similar levels of wealth or status seems to diminish significantly. This stands in stark contrast to where wealth was still being built and lineage and educational backgrounds were heavily emphasized.
It’s as if once a certain pinnacle of success and affluence is reached, the need to validate one’s status through the background of others lessens, revealing a different set of social dynamics and priorities.
In these relationships and encounters, I’ve pondered whether, subconsciously, I also place importance on societal hierarchies. It’s a humbling thought, reflecting that despite our best intentions, we might still be influenced by the very structures we question.
Yet, in my personal experience, I’ve often never been judged for my parents’ humble origins. Instead, I’ve always taken immense pride in their extraordinary resilience and strength. My father, as a war refugee, bravely navigated a new life in a country where he didn’t know the language, working tirelessly to provide a home and educational opportunities for us, the kind he never had. My mother’s story is equally inspiring. She came to Canada under similarly challenging circumstances. I remember her applying for jobs without even knowing the language, a testament to her remarkable courage and determination. Her willingness to face such daunting challenges head-on for our family’s well-being has always been a profound source of inspiration for me. Had they merely accepted and lived within the confines of their birth circumstances, their stories, and consequently mine, would have unfolded in starkly different chapters.
If we were to only ever mingle within our own echelons of birth and status, how would anyone ever ascend to wealth, since every story of success invariably begins with a first step from somewhere humble?
I’ve said this many times before, but I stand on the shoulders of giants. It was because of them that I could achieve what I have to date. My path led me into private equity, to becoming the youngest exec at 29, being named an early achievement recipient of CPA Canada, and eventually to taking a CFO role for an individual listed in Time’s 100 Most Influential People, working with some of the world’s most powerful foundations. While I may be just a ‘smudge’ compared to these giants, I find inspiring parallels in our stories.
This reflection reinforced my conviction and belief: our lives are not measured by our birth circumstances but by the courage, resilience, and choices we make along our journey. Whether starting from scarcity or abundance, it’s our unwavering dedication to our dreams that sculpts our life.
In life’s grand theater, where some scenes are pre-set and others are ours to script, many compelling stories are those where individuals, against all odds, seize control to redefine their destiny.
It’s in these acts of defiance and creation that we truly define ourselves, transcending birth and circumstance to write narratives of hope, resilience, and enduring triumph.
Not even a month ago, life introduced me to someone who might just be extraordinary.
You know that rare, deep connection you sometimes feel with someone, as if they’ve always been a part of your story?
He has this uncanny ability to bring out the most genuine parts of me, stirring up a sense of wonder and curiosity from my usually guarded heart. His presence radiates a comforting warmth, inviting me to surrender to trust and spontaneity, much like a leaf caught in a playful gust of wind. This bond, makes me wonder – is this the very feeling my sister once tried to capture in words? Our mannerisms and spirits seem to dance like shadows at dusk, painting a vibrant yet intimately familiar scene.
What is it about someone that has the power to gently dismantle our defences, coaxing out our most vulnerable selves? Is it an inherent quality they carry, a kind of magnetic allure that resonates with our own inner frequencies?
Or perhaps, it is an awakening within us, a stirring of an inner desire long dormant, waiting for the right person to unlock its depths.
I find myself pondering these questions around him. There’s an effortless ease in our interactions, a sense of safety that encourages the walls around my heart to crumble. It leads me to wonder – is this vulnerability not just about the other person, but also about the timing and our own state of readiness?
Yet, amidst these thoughts, there’s also this undeniable synergy – a synchronicity, as he would so aptly put it, an intangible connection that suggests it’s not just about one’s inner readiness. It’s as if the universe conspires, bringing two souls together at the perfect moment, creating the right circumstances for something extraordinary tounfold – a harmony so rare and so profound.
But it’s in the everyday, tangible moments that this connection truly reveals its depth and magic. Our bodies find a natural harmony in each other’s presence (a comfortable temperature? =) ), a physical attunement that speaks of a deep connection. The way his hand fits perfectly in mine feels like a silent promise of understanding and togetherness. Our smiles – like mirrors, reflecting a shared warmth and recognition. His hug is akin to the comforting sway of a gentle swing, blending exhilaration with the safety of being held. Cooking together feels intimate, where time seems to pause, allowing us to relish each shared moment. My openness to his culinary quirks, our meticulous attention to the intricacies of each others lives, all whisper of a bond that is as nurturing as it is deep. And in our ability to navigate the complexities of difficult conversations with both strength and tenderness, we find a resilient, comforting synergy.
This new journey is a reminder of the magic that happens when two people, just as they are, come together.
It’s a fusion of two separate worlds, each enriching the other, crafting a bond that is as delicate as it is strong. It’s a testament to the power of authenticity and the beauty that unfolds when we allow ourselves to be seen, truly seen, by another.
And so, with a heart full of gratitude and eyes open to the wonders ahead, I cherish this unfolding story. It’s a tale of discovery, of delving into the depths of the heart, and of honouring the extraordinary gift of a soul that resonates with mine in such a profound, indescribable way.
Life In Ones 